Unknown

People are afraid of what they don’t know. To protect their sense of control, their sense of security — people would rather make assumptions about someone instead of trying to discover the truth about a person.

Insecurities

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“Turn in your assignments as you leave, please.”

The bell rings. Photojournalism students tried cramming through the door as if a herd of bulls is stampeding towards them–as if their fate relies on their exiting the classroom. Hands and pages fly everywhere as I desperately try to organize the assignments by turning them the same direction and stacking them on the teacher’s desk.

As a substitute teacher, I don’t expect to receive the same courtesy as the student’s real teacher, but, surprisingly, all of these students are especially polite today. Smiling faces, “Thank you”s, “Have a nice day”s, and laughter warm my heart between my 3rd and 4th period classes…at least until one student decides to obliterate my jovial spirit. 24 out of 25 students have no trouble neatly placing their assignments in the designated stack. Number 25, however, must find a way to stand out from everyone else.

I lift the stack of pages and tap it against the desk to line up the edges. As I examine the stack’s neatness, a sharp jabbing sensation suddenly forces my eyes upward. There, only about one foot above the teacher’s desktop computer, is the most annoyed, defiant, and interesting expression I’ve ever seen. I take a moment to regain my senses before realizing I had just been stabbed in the face by a piece of paper in the hands of this petite teenager. She continues waving her page in front of my face, expecting me to take it from her and add it to the stack. The Nerve.

Didn’t she see how her classmates turned in their assignments? Does she not notice the stack of pages within arm’s reach from her? Why must she make this task more difficult than it needs to be? I won’t stand for this nonsense.

I make eye contact with her, maintain a firm look, and gesture toward the stack of pages. Her next move is what launches my mind into a whirlwind of thought, speculation, and hypotheses. A look–a glare, rather. A rolling of the eyes. An act of asserting a combination of apathy and rebelliousness. These may be the attitudes she hopes to convey anyways, but I see something quite different. I see a girl who feels lost, hopeless, and defeated. She reluctantly lays her page on the top of the stack–in the wrong direction, of course–and heads to her 4th period class. By refusing to add her assignment to the stack myself, have I multiplied the burdens she already carries on her shoulders? Has the weight of the whole world on her back just gotten heavier? Have my actions intensified her feelings of defeat?

There is no 4th period photojournalism class. The growls of my tummy can only mean one thing…lunch time! I tidy up the teacher’s desk, check my watch to see how much time I have before 5th period, and hop in my car. The school is less than a block away from one of the most delicious and affordable lunch spots, that is, Taco Bell.

The employee at the counter couldn’t be more pleasant. He takes my order, asks about my day, and treats me like royalty. Judging from his positivity, there’s nothing he’d rather be doing this Wednesday afternoon than taking orders at Taco Bell. His happiness is contagious, and I can’t help but smile all the way back to my seat. While scarfing down a couple of burritos, another employee comes near my table. I’m the only customer in the restaurant, but her efforts to remain unseen are obvious.

With a broom in one hand and a dust pan in the other, she sweeps the floor around my table at her own will. No one has to tell her what to do; no one has to beg her to take care of her job responsibilities. But what catches my attention is not her commendable work ethic, but the way in which she pretends to be invisible to me and the rest of the world.

Not once, not twice, but three times does the young woman avoid making eye contact with me. Is she embarrassed? Is she too ashamed of the cards she’s been dealt in life? Her behavior certainly has nothing to do with me. Two other customers arrive separately, and she rotates her body to prevent them from noticing her. Her face shielded by baskets of plastic-ware and condiments, she continues fighting for invisibility. Fighting with all she has even if the fight empties every drop of her energy. But what makes this fight worth fighting for? Why is invisibility the young woman’s most desired superpower?

Separated by at least 8 years. Different skin color. Different families. Different life positions and circumstances. The women described in these two scenarios still have something in common…insecurity. Although the root of their insecurities may be vastly different, they each experience insecurity to some extent. But don’t we all? We are no different than the women I encountered today, but we have our own ways of masking and coping with our insecurities.

The question I want to leave you with is WHY? What causes us to be insecure like the high school photojournalism student and the Taco Bell employee? How many times have we perpetuated a person’s insecurities when we were, in fact, trying to do the opposite? How many times have people tried to diagnose the high school photojournalism student? “Maybe you just need Jesus.” “All the drama is making you crazy. Get some new friends and all your problems will be solved.” After all, she might just need a pair of listening ears and a person willing to validate her feelings.

How many times has the Taco Bell employee been discouraged by her friends’ attempts to encourage her? “You can do anything you want to do. Why are you settling for a job at Taco Bell?” “Your husband doesn’t even pay child support. Your life would be so much better if you just divorced him, found someone better, and moved on.” Her deepest need might not have anything to do with her job or her husband. She might be longing for something else, perhaps something spiritual or intellectual. A hobby like photography or an online class about computer science might be what she needs to find happiness.

When have you felt most insecure? Are insecurities an inevitable consequence of the world we live in? Whose fault is it that we experience insecurities? I’m interested in what you think, so please share your thoughts!

In Christ, Marshall Hoybook
     

Healthy Confidence: Put Me In, Coach

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Imagine Dez Bryant, one of the NFL’s most explosive players, standing on the sideline. The Cowboys are on offense, and a less talented receiver is in Dez’s spot. Dez faces the field and watches his teammate struggle to lead the cowboys closer to the end zone, cringing each time a routine pass is missed. His eyes are wide open, unable to look away from the horror on the gridiron. Anyone near Dez can read his mind. There’s only one thing he could possibly be thinking in this moment:

“Put me in coach! I know I can play better than him! Just let me play, and I’ll prove to you why I shouldn’t be standing on the sideline.”

How many times have you been in Dez’s shoes? Of course, I’m not literally talking about standing on an NFL sideline. Rather, I’m talking about the times when you’ve had to watch someone do a job you know you could do better. As you watch, doesn’t it pain you to see this person drop the ball over and over again? If only your talent and abilites were as obvious to others as they are to you. If only your coach, boss, supervisor, or teacher recognized your true potential. I’ve been subject to this dilemma a number of times, but I’ve learned to appreciate the growth I’ve experienced from the dissapointment.

For instance, I’ve been a band director for the past seven years. At my last gig, I worked with directors who were less qualified than me…or so I felt. Some of these directors had poor, ineffective teaching methods–a source of chronic headaches to say the least. I’ve also interviewed for several youth ministry positions, but I’ve been turned down by every one of them, generally because the hired applicant was a church staffer’s close friend or relative.

As I observe these head band directors and youth ministers, I can’t help but wonder how these individuals were hired to fill leadership roles.  I know I am better suited for the positions than them, and this attitude spurs me to work harder, to study diligently, to practice more, and to excel in all things related to music education and youth ministry. My attitude, I argue, is not an assertion of arrogance, but an expression of healthy confidence. If you asked Dez Bryant what motivational factors influence his game, I’m sure he would list many things such as his competitive nature, his childhood role models, his love of the game, and his need to prove people who doubt his abilities wrong. These are all valid motivational factors, but I contend that one more item needs to be added to the list: healthy self-confidence.

Is Dez Bryant the most talented wide receiver in the NFL? Perhaps not, but he knows in his mind that he’s better than many of his competitors. This mentatility is largely responsible for his success in the NFL. If he didn’t already consider himself one of the NFL’s greatest athletes, then where would he find the motivation to excel at his sport? Likewise, if I didn’t consider myself to be a more qualified band director and youth minister than most candidates, then what’s the point in bettering myself in those areas?

Don’t think for a second that I’m condoning arrogance. I would never do such a thing. I am, however, acknowledging the motivational power behind a person’s self-image. It’s okay to know you’re better at something than someone else. Go ahead and think that all you want. After all, a healthy self-confidence is essential in order for you to excel at anything.

What do you think? Is a healthy self-confidence necessary to achieve success?

When have you experienced success as a result of your self-image?

— In Christ, Marshall Hoybook

Steeple People

So many people, so many kinds, so many minds

Some people are like cathedrals with sky-scraping steeples

While others are like shacks, one-story higher than the beaten path

But everyone has stories, stories by the dozens

Like the Father’s blessings, greater than the ancient mountains

For the mountains we climb, one day at a time

Time doesn’t slow down, but it lets us down

Time and time again because of our limitations

The only One who’s unlimited is the God of all the Nations

Guiding us, strengthening us, loving us unconditionally

Like the sun rises, God’s love is a certainty

We thrive on it, feed on it, bank on it everyday

But not the same bank that we drop the checks on payday

But today we recognize the price that He paid

The ultimate price, the ultimate expression of His grace

FACE…the facts, His Grace is not selective

He pours it out to all regardless of our transgressions

So whether you’re black, white, red, or brown

We can thank the Lord for wearing the crown

Of thorns, of scorn, for a new hope to be born

A hope for all, a hope for everyone alive

I hope you caught that, but I’ll say it one more time

God’s love is for everyone, regardless of circumstances

You can dance around the truth, but you’ll waste away your chances

Oh, but is your life too hard? No time for Jesus Christ?

Tell that to the apostles who cast their nets aside

They dropped ’em like a rap beat because Christ’s way is better

They committed their lives to Jesus, the only Lord and Savior

He’s not just my Savior; He’s your Savior too

If you don’t believe me, then read His written truth.

The Bible makes it clear, as clear as a crystal gem

Our Salvation is secure as long as we trust in Him

But you’re poor, down-and-out, and you’re drowning in your misery

God’s smiling down at you, saying, “Why don’t you come with me?”

You might be all alone, you might have a thousand friends

You might be a politician, you might be a garbage man

You might be adventurous, you might never take a risk

A dreamer, a homebody, a leaf tossed by every drift

No matter who you are, Christ offers His love to us

Despite our imperfections, our blunders, and our slip-ups

Short people, tall people, ugly, rich or poor

These traits don’t make a difference in the eyes of our loving Lord

High-strung people, lowly people, the healthy and diseased

To the ends of the earth God’s love abounds from west to east

Now it is our job to make it known, how God’s love has no end

Nothing can separate us from the One who never sinned

Trodden people, steeple people, step down from your pedistals

Quit comparing stories—’Cause God’s love for ALL is plentiful!

How has God demonstrated His indiscriminate and infinite love to you?